Monthly Archives: April 2006

Onward Muslim soldiers!

One….more….paper….to….go….

Topic: Should men seek to contribute to the generation of feminist theory? If so, how? If not, why not?

At this point a goat could contribute and I wouldn’t care…one more paper and then 4 months of freedom.

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Found this today…

(X) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend’s car
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love
(X) Shoplifted
(X) Quit your job
( ) Filed for divorce
( ) Been in a fist fight
( ) Broken a bone
( ) Saved someone’s life
( ) Been arrested
(X) Gone on a blind date (more times than I want to count)
(X) Lied to a friend
(X) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die (My plant?)
(X) Been to Canada (I sometimes come off my cloud to walk among the Canucks eh?)
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Swam in the ocean ( I looked at it though…does that count?)
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Been stung by a bee (wasp)
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently coloured your hair
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t
(X) Made prank phone calls (when I was 11…I swear…ok maybe once last year)
(X) Lost over 20 pounds (yes, during my heroin chic days aka crazy in love)
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain (it’s been a while, but yes I have danced)
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Had your opinion printed in the newspaper
( ) Taken a bubble bath with someone
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach (ha ha I tried but I couldn’t get it to light!)
( ) Crashed a party
( ) Gone roller-skating
(X) Ice-skating (true Canucks all skate!)

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I am slowly going crazy, going crazy slowly am I…tra la la la la

I cannot wait till this is over!!! The last week of finals and I have officially contracted writers block……… I mean I am writing but nothing is making any sense….which is not good considering it is not the alcoholic professor who will be grading this, it’s the one who actually has EXPECTATIONS of me. Do you know how scary that is? Sometimes it’s better if people just expect crap from you.

Not only do I have writers block I have serious procrastinationitis which compells me to spend hours trolling the internet looking for anything to amuse myself. On top of that I seem to have developped chronic fatigue syndrome which is causing me to crave sleep as I have never craved it before.
Add to that the overwhelming desire for chocolate, ice cream, wings, espresso, Booster Juice (Brazilian Thunder, no bananas please!) …and you get a little snapshot into my last 24 hours.

I have 12 more pages to write. Inspiration is sure to come at midnight as I pound away on my laptop trying to finish before my 12noon deadline.

Two papers to go and then I am going to sleep for a week. And watch as much Judge Judy as I freakin want!

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Cynicism

Is it possible that we will never live in a world of peace?
I don’t know why I am surprised.
When you study history you can see how we are a species hell bent on destroying each other. We cannot abide anyone different than us, we hate with such vehemence those that have different opinions than us, and in positions of power we try our hardest to wipe out anyone weaker than us.
Sometimes it gets to be too much to bear for me. I am feeling such a feeling of fatigue and helplessness today. Don’t people ever get tired of hating?

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DNA?

I always thought that we learned from our parents in essence how to be different than them. My parents certainly thought that about theirs. I am not so sure now. The older I get the more I see we are all living our parents story out albeit in different ways. Not that it is always negative. There are many positives to seeing how we are all connected through shared blood and history. Why then do we focus on the negatives? Why do so many of us lead lives of reaction against some past hurt imagined or real? Those that raise us shape us so clearly, molding us like artists. They imprint on us their past, their present and future. All their pain and joy, thier hopes and dreams, likes and dislikes. A soul claiming another forever…no escape.
It can be so strange to look in the mirror sometimes and see another face staring back at you. You realize then that we are all the same. Blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh.
So what is it in us that makes us believe that we are so unique and special that life will be different for us? That our choices will be better or that we will understand what they didn’t?
The arrogance of youth? The need to believe we are in control?
Love for them binds you to them in a manner created by the Divine. How else could someone exist under your skin, close to your heart forever? No crude words can describe that kinship, that recognition of yourself in them and their recogition of themselves in you.

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Opera and Jewish Reggae

April showers bring May flowers….It’s the kind of day where you stay in bed, under the covers listening to the rain fall. You should definitely not be at work talking to cracky patients.
I am going to my first Opera tonight! I cannot wait. I have loved opera music since I was young, so this is so exciting. It is a production of Falstaff, which I have to admit I have never listened to – It is a comedy and I lean more toward the dramatic, everybody dies of galloping consumption type of stories.
I listened to that reggae rabbi guy…his name is Matisyahu and he is really interesting…I’ve only listened to one song but it was really good.

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Village Girl

Been off for a while sludging through the wilds of academia….
I’ve been to Africa where there are Asante, and Nguni and Xhosa. Where Sokoto rose up under Usman Dan Fodio and the Mandinka fell to the Europeans.
I’ve been to the edge of reason trying to decipher where I stand on humanism vs gynocentric feminism. And gave up trying to explain that ‘gyno’ doesn’t refer specifically to someone’s (whisper) vagina…..
I discovered exclusion; why, how, whatever. Collective guilt, angst and forgiveness.
Research question: Do Muslims feel collective guilt? Ever? Or do we hide behind the justifications of the ‘evil’ West made me do it?
Am now at the stage of anxiety ridden studying for exams.
The summer off, I can’t wait!
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I moved residences about a week or so ago. My new place is very nice, large and much more airy than the last place I was in. My brother called my last apartment Aushwitz, but I think he exaggerates.
The neighbourhood is being built up to rival one of the trendier areas in the city. I can tell people I live in the ‘Village’ now!
My darling little witty is gone. I gave him to my brother on account of my allergies. I miss his fat little self, but he was hella trouble.
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Cousin Matt went home the other day. After spending a month with my parents I think he now has the fear of God in him. His sister said “You see? You could have had it like that all your life!!!” Ha! She has no idea….
Apparently he now has a new appreciation for his parents. Don’t worry it won’t last.

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