Monthly Archives: October 2007

Sometimes swearing really loudly is the only thing that makes up for a stupid day

I am a klutz.

Kapital K.

I walk into walls, sinks (today), hook myself on poles, other people – the other day getting off the bus I hooked my earphone cord onto some kids knapsack and was dragged a few feet before I could untangle myself. 

I also do stupid things like put travel mugs in my bag when the mug is still half full of coffee.

Then I walk around looking like I peed my pants because I forgot the mug was in my bag, swung it around a few times, sat down and well….

Or I do fantasticly smart things like not close tupperwares all the way (today) and wonder why I smell yoghurt all the way home only to realize that’s because it’s all at the bottom of my bag  – baptising my new hardcover book and whatever else I had in there.

Let’s just say when I got home my little solitary plant (that I haven’t yet managed to kill off) was introduced to some words I don’t think he’s ever heard. 

 I’m going to be reduced to carrying a lunch box,  I can just feel it.

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The Eagles are NOT a baseball team for all you plebs out there!!!

The plans for our next weekend south of the border are coming together.  Registration has been done, our hotel booked, and a car has been procured and we are all looking forward to getting out of town.  I love road trips and I love getting away from it all .  I love not having to check my email or my messages (not that I’m very good at checking my messages anyway), and I love pretending I have no responsibilities during the day beyond finding a really good place to eat. 

Booking a hotel was crazy – I was trying to get one in downtown Philly but the prices were insane.  I was quoted over 300 bucks a night and I almost had heart failure -I think the lady on the phone went partially deaf after she told me how much the rooms were.  Apparently there is some game going on that weekend or something.  I was like “Game, what game?”

Reservation lady: Well ma’am the Eagles are playing.

Me: What is that baseball?

Her: Ummm…no. (definite scorn in her voice) That would be football ma’am.

I think my eyes glazed over a bit…

Me: Okay so you’re telling me there are people out there who are spending over 300.00 a night to see a football game?

I think I committed some sort of blasphemy.  I may have to watch my back when I get there.  They don’t still tar and feather people do they?  Jazz was here listening to me and was thoroughly disgusted at my lack of football knowledge cause you know she is miss sporty sport.  What I don’t get is why people are paying that much when they know darn well they are going to be trashed within an hour of the game and not remember anything, least of all where they slept the night before.  But hey- obviously there is some mysterious ritual here I am missing the significance of,  so who I am to judge?

Anyways the reservation lady was like “Well you should see Boston when the Red Sox are playing…That’s a baseball team ma’am.”

And I was thinking “You know snarkiness really isn’t an attractive quality…”

So we ended up getting a hotel by the airport but at least we got one – apparently it’s a 15$ cab ride -but that depends on whether or not we get ripped off by the cabby she said.  Frig – these cabbies are going to do me in.  I am determined to get this system. The reservation lady told me to agree on a price before we get into the cab.  If you try to do that here you’ll end up with your tail on the street.   

Anywhooo it looks like it’s going to be fun…I need to do a little research on food, shopping, etc… all the good stuff.  And then there is the conference which promises to be interesting – There are people I can’t wait to see too.  InshaAllah it’ll be a good time.

And best news of all…Daddy is going to Hajj inshaAllah!!!!!!!!!  We are all so excited and happy for him.  I am going up to see the fam this weekend and I can’t wait to talk to him about it.  Knowing him, he is overwhelmed and feeling a hundred different things at once. 

So happy, hopeful, busy these days.

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Did you know?

a song in my heart

translates into unbearably shrill noises on my tongue

so i’ve been told.

unlike susu who warbles the cat, the bosnians, et al.

and produces soft dulcet tones that don’t make people want to belt her.

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Eid Mubarak

Ramadan has left us for another year – who knows how many of us will be around next year to take advantage?  I hope everyone managed to get in time for some serious worship.  I still am recovering from the marathon that was the last week. A lot of us ended the month with a cold. It always starts out with on eperson who is snorking at eh back of the women’s section and by the end of Ramadan it moves up to the first rows and we all have it.

For the first time in a long while, time seemed to move very slowly this last week.  As if Allah was giving us more time to reach out to Him.  With every passing night I’d feel a sense of something precious slipping away.  I managed to get to Tarawih almost every night.  We also were there for most of the Tahajjud prayers.  They hold them at the mosque during Ramadan – those doing itikaf as well as the rest of us who come sleepwalking to the mosque at 3h45am were blessed to have a wonderful qari recite for us. The qiyam ul-layl was almost as packed as the Tarawih prayers this year.  Tonight I’m sitting here and I miss it already.   

 The dusty carpet, the fidgeting girl on one side of me, the peaceful lady on the other, the water-bottle lady at the back, the kids playing downstairs, the whispering of people’s duas, the silence of a congregation sitting in tashahud, the qari’s voice trembling as he recites, the old ladies on chairs, the heaving hearts, the up-lifted hands, the tears, the tears, the tears…for words my heart always understands when my ears don’t.   

I’m going to miss it all. 

Eid Mubarak my friends.

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Ramadan Day 18

Day 18.  The speed of time is strange.  I’ll probably try to take a hiatus from the internet for the last 10 days- we’ll see if it works.   

Another stretch of nights over and I’m in count down mode till my next bit of time off.  I may whine (a lot) about work but to be perfectly honest I have it so easy. I managed to get the last week of Ramadan off.  I am so grateful I could cry – I have this almost physical ache to be at the mosque this year.

The weather is changing rapidly.  I’m sitting here wrapped in a blanket and my nose is still cold.  Which is sign to break out the socks and sweatshirts.  I have to try to get out and take some pictures of the leaves tomorrow.  They are so beautiful this time of year – the sky has this wonderful gray colour it turns …I love it.

I had a couple of people over tonight for iftar.  I made a new friend!  U brought over a lovely sister she met recently.  Dinner menu was : lasagna and salad, with angel food cake and berries with vanilla ice cream for dessert.  Not bad at all, I must say.  I’m done in though – I got home around 8h30 this morning – started the pasta sauce, cleaned up a bit, was in bed by 10, slept till 2, then got up and finished everything else by iftar time.  So I can barely keep my eyes open now.  But must write a bit before I forget what’s in my head 🙂

My new friend is a wonderful lady who has been through a very difficult time.  She is one of those people who have much faith and patience and hope… I really think sometimes these people come into your life just to serve as reminders.  I guess I needed some reminders because I got them in spades.   Del went over to a mutual aquaintances’ house tonight for iftar.  She was invited over by this sister who’s youngest child is dying.  They ran into each other at the mosque and D said the sister was still smiling and full of faith.  She wanted Del to go over so she could get the rewards for feeding her and so D could get the ajar for visiting the sick.  Some people are walking reminders – I on the other have to spend an entire night reading “The Removal of Cares” after some small incident.  Some people leave you humbled. 

And then after last nights’ shift I came home thanking God that I have the life I do.  We saw everything- the drunks, the coked-out teens, the alcoholic who has drunk so much in her lifetime I think she bleeds the stuff, the kid who’s father stabbed him, etc…(and then the actual sick people).  I practically ran out of there this morning.  My heart is just so full of gratitude that I have been spared that kind of story and all I can do is pray that it never becomes mine.   While I have zero sympathy for drunk teenagers from the suburbs (and I mean zilch, nada…as in I cannot stand them), I have a soft spot for so many other down and out types.  For a short moment in time you enter their lives and I always feel like if enough compassion is shown it’ll make a difference.  Of course that’s not true a lot of the times.   Some of these guys are so far gone you can’t even talk to them.  The homeless, mess of an alcoholic had two words for everyone “F***” and “You”.  I can’t even describe her- and I mean it literally.  I keep trying to and something in me won’t even let me write the words down.  From the Divine command to be vicegerents on earth to what I saw last night.  Nobody should have to see someone in that state.  And if I sound judgemental know that I see myself as part of the problem if I am not part of the solution.  So today I called my friends and told them to thank God for their blessings.  Because really it’s a crap shoot.  Who gets this lot in life and who gets that…choices you make in your life… those books I used to read when I was a kid – “Choose Your Own Adventure” I think they were called.  If you turn left you die, if you turn right you live.  Destiny, what Allah has written for you, life…mysterious but simple.  It is what it is – you get what you get.  No more, no less.  I thought of my friend tonight who passed away before we turned 30.  All the times we sat up till the wee hours of the morning whispering, giggling about boys, parents,friends…God, what did we talk about at 15?  Who knew she would die before getting married, before finishing her little projects, before all those things we thought she had so much time to accomplish.

So I have this Ramadan.  And I  have this moment.  And I figured out why I’m so cold.  After socks, a sweater and a blanket.

I left the window open…nothing gets by me.

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