Bad Chinese, Good Italian

Went out tonight with a friend – ate really bad Chinese food.  And really bad Chinese food is unlike any other really bad food.  It’s really really really bad.  Should have gone for Thai instead.  To make up for it we went to an Italian dessert place and picked up some fabulous little tarts and some good coffee.  I gained 5 pounds from a tiny lemon tart, I just know it.  Oh well – more of me to love I guess.

We traded books tonight – and had some good conversation, mostly surrounding her wailing “why are men such jerks?”, and me nodding in sympathy.  The agonies of the mating process…but then I always think it’s nothing a good bit of haagen daaz can’t fix.  My friend is a little less shallow than me I guess.  But then she is a litte cracky – I mean his email was pretty normal, I don’t know where she got the stuff she was reading into it. Everyone knows men can be a little emotionally retarded – you just have to decide if you can live with whatever level they are at.  It’s like one of those scales…1= misfiring synapses but if I eat enough ice cream i can pretend you’re normal and 10= oh my god your parents are brother and sister aren’t they?

Poor little friend of mine.  And (drumroll please!) she is about to turn 30!!!  She was having a mild heart attack at the thought of being 30 and single.  I kept telling her it gets better after 30.  You’re older so you tend to forget all the stuff that was so important in your 20’s.  So if you want to marry a guy who is say a 5 on the scale of ER ( 5= were you shaken as an infant?), then go right ahead.  Some people call it settling , or you could call it an insurance policy.  Who the hell else is going to pick your arse up off the floor when you  fall going to the bathroom in the middle of the night? 

I kid of course.  I am way deeper than this.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Bad Chinese, Good Italian

  1. As salaamu alaikum sis!

    LOL! You are hilarious.

    I think I will be using your “scale” in the workplace. Many of the people I work with are 5’s and under!

  2. Walaikum Salam !

    I’m bad – although I think many of us can think of a couple of guys who fit right into that scale 😉

  3. saf

    I’m going to start keeping a running tally on how many times you mention dessert and dessert-related items in your posts.

  4. Shut up.
    K gave me chocolate the other day – she is my new favourite sister-in-law…

  5. nayya

    LOL

    it’s been a long time since i read your blog.. i needed this dose..

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