Stalemate

So apparently I am bitter.  Not only am I bitter but I am bitter and jaded.  Woooo…..them is fightin’ words.  So to get a little context here –  a friend of mine recently had a discussion with some guys about their search for the perfect girl.  These guys are in their thirties but seem to gravitate towards women who are younger than them.  When this was pointed out to them, they told her that they stay away from women who are the same age as them because women in their thirties are too bitter and jaded.

I don’t know why I should be surprised – there had to be a reason so many guys list 19-25 as there preferred ages no matter how old they themselves are.  And I thought it was that they wanted someone they could mold, and feel superior to.  Instead all along it’s been our fault that once we hit thirty we’re past our prime according to muslim male standards.

Well…I told my friend that us women have some steretyoes too.  The most prevalent one among my friends is that if a guy is single and still claims to be a virgin after thirty he’s on the downlow or impotent. 

I guess that leaves us at a stalemate eh?

The sad part of this is that there are a lot of girls who are looking outside of the muslim male population because of these types of attitudes, among other issues.  Muslim men have always known they have the option of marrying outside without raising too many eyebrows, but don’t worry we’re catching up.   

Women in their thirties, at least the women I know are far from bitter – they are vibrant, beautiful and full of joy.  Men in their thirties…well I guess they could have fasted a lot….?

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Stalemate

  1. susu

    You are preaching to the choir honey!! I hate that about Muslim men, I told my mom the other day that my expiry date was coming up…I’m about to turn 25 and currently have no prospects. She didn’t like hearing that at all! Its true though…

  2. Hee…Su I think it’s funny more than anything. It’s okay – we’ll all end up living in a house together with some cats and a fabulous garden!
    Anyways I have bigger issues – like what colour to paint my bedroom…

  3. BismillaharRahmanirRahim

    as-salaamu ‘alaikum. Irisblue, what do you mean by this,

    “Muslim men have always known they have the option of marrying outside without raising too many eyebrows, but don’t worry we’re catching up.”

    Catching up? I don’t understand.

    -Saifuddin

  4. Walaikum Salaam!

    I was referring to the fact that some Muslim men look outside of their communities when looking for a partner – choosing women from Jewish or Christian backgrounds. It’s always been done and while maybe not encouraged, it certainly has been condoned.
    It’s been much rarer for Muslim women to do this-for a few reasons I think, but they are doing it a lot more now. Women have started looking outside their communities seeking men who they think will convert or at least believe in God.

  5. BismillaharRahmanirRahim

    “Women have started looking outside their communities seeking men who they think will convert or at least believe in God.”

    Hmm. My feeling is that this is not admirable. And really a testament to the state of affairs within the North American Muslim community. Marriage is a complicated issue in this country much more than I imagined as a younger man.

    May Allah Almighty make things easier for us in this matter, amin

    -Saifuddin

  6. I know – it’s sad that people feel they can’t find what they need inside the Muslim community. I think the whole thing is complicated anywhere though – there are issues wherever you go…

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